Wolves Transfer “Rumours” Round One

By: Toby | December 31st, 2008

Ah, tis but a day until players can actually swap teams in the January sales, if anything, January sales are always a bit disappointing, the teams that make the most noise are always the ones who’s seasons are going tits up, or who’ve got so many injuries they’re struggling to put out a starting XI. So players that usually get bought in January usually have a cracking three months, and then get sold at roughly the same time the year after. There have been some notable exceptions, in recent years with Wolves in particular, with Ebanks and Kightly coming in the January transfer window, and doing rather well indeed.

So it comes as no surprise that it’s Ebanks Blake and Kightly who are being touted around the rumour mill as the next players to make the leap from Championship to Premiership, rather than waiting a few months to try and make it there with Wolves. We’ve also got rumours of Hennessey and Mancienne leaving the squad, off to the promised land of the Premiership, as nothing else exists in football, and every other league is merely there to fill the time in between Premiership games.

Once again, all the transfer news which is doing the rounds is unsubstantiated, un referenced, and to be honest, sounds like it’s been plucked out of the air in many cases, ie – “Everton dahnt hav nah stroikas, they’d probarblay lark tha top skorah of dah chaampionsharp” in my best Dick Van Dyke Fleet Street reporter voice. And “Newcarstle are lark a fakkkin farblin drank in tha attarkin thurd, they’d prhabably lark a duycent wingaaaaaaah”. While “Mancienne’s hacktually fackkin da mutt’s fucks, whart tha FUCK is e’ doin in the Chaarmpionsharp?”

I’ll pick on one article in particular, I chose you, THE SUN! (added annotations once again)

Kinnear hopes to fly a Kight (Slow hand clap for that one)

JOE KINNEAR is ready to launch a £4million bid for Wolves winger Michael Kightly. (According to who? Big Joe? Ashley? I’m sure they’ll clear this up later in the article)
Newcastle boss Kinnear says he needs to spend big next month to secure Toon’s Premier League status. (Ah, yet there are no quotes to support the fact that he said he’d have to do anything)
And (Now I’m sorry, but who starts a sentance with a common conjunction? I know it’s popular now to put two fingers up to the old style of writing, and if you’re in a rush then fair enough, but this guy’s had to write a PARAGRAPH, and yet he’s not bothered to start the sentance with a simple “Joe Kinnear” and take away the “he”) he will take a punt (Hav’ a punt on that you slaaaaag) on players from outside the top flight (Outside the top flight? What the hell is that? There’s football not in the Premiership? They probably had to ask Chris Kamara what the division was called but couldn’t get hold of him).
Kightly, 22, has fired seven goals this term to help Wolves to the top of the Championship (They remembered what it were called). He is also being tracked by Everton (Every one of our players is being tracked by Everton, Moyes is the voyeur of The Championship) and Middlesbrough (The Monaco of the North).

Brilliant, as I’m sure you’ll agree. If I handed that level of unreferenced garbage in at GCSE, let alone Degree Standard, I’d be laughed out of town and asked if I fancied being a lollypop man instead.

So, don’t get too worried about transfer rumours in the coming weeks unless we get one of two things

A QUOTE, off a person, actually to do with the club, I’m only going to accept Manager, or Director. I’m not going to accept the standard Sun lazy “an insider said” as in “we’ve just made up”.
A PICTURE, of the player, wearing the other team’s shirt, a la Incey.

I hope that’s calmed you all down a bit?

Tarra-a-bit